Road Show
by rockhotch31
Summary: David Rossi and my OC Matt Taylor do a college recruiting presentation. How much trouble will the BAU bad boys get into? A sequel to "A Monster in the Fortress", it can be a stand alone. A very light and humorous one shot.


**A/N: When I first started writing fan fiction, I promised myself that I would never interrupt writing one story to write another. Well, that promise is going out the window. This idea popped into my head after reading the press release for the upcoming CM episode "Profiling 101" and I had to run with it. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Criminal Minds.**

**This is for hxchick, who planted the seed of wanting to see someone again.**

Road Show

Section Chief Erin Strauss and the rest of the BAU team, including Garcia, quietly slipped into the back of the lecture hall as the Placement Director of George Mason University was doing a lengthy introduction of the two guests standing behind him. As Hotch sat down, he noticed Matt Taylor standing with both hands in his suit pant pockets looking at the floor, a telltale trait that he was uncomfortable with the words. David Rossi had his usual bemused look of _not again_.

Going through the online comments students left following BAU members giving the FBI recruitment presentations, Chief Strauss had long ago concluded that these two were the most popular. Since George Mason was so close to their office, she told the team they were taking a field trip to check out the duo's "act" as they called it.

"Please give a warm George Mason welcome to SSA David Rossi and SSA Matt Taylor." The students politely applauded as the two agents stepped forward.

"Thank you Dr. Moreland for the introduction and the welcome; it's an honor for us to be here," Rossi said, getting the students quieted. "Btw, he's Matt," Rossi gestured to his colleague.

"And he's Dave," Matt finished. The students smiled and relaxed. "While we know all of you have many questions concerning Dave and myself's work with the BAU, we are here to talk to all you about the career opportunities with the FBI. We promise we'll have time at the end to answer some of those BAU questions."

"But before we get to those, you're going to have to sit through our sales pitch," Dave smiled. The students lightly laughed.

Morgan leaned over to Reid and whispered, "That's why they work, kid. They have personality." Hotch and Strauss shot him a glare like a teacher trying to quiet a whispering student. Prentiss elbowed Morgan in the ribs, stifling a laugh. Reid gave him a puzzled look.

Matt took up the presentation. "Until the late 1970's, to join the FBI you had to be a college graduate with a degree is some area of law enforcement such as pre-law or criminology."

"But partly due to the FBI's public perception following the tumult of the times and the lack of qualified candidates, the Bureau found itself undermanned. That is when they changed their policy, and opened the FBI to any college graduate," Dave continued.

"And due to the recent times, graduates with specialized degrees in such areas as accounting or finance for white collar crime, computer related degrees for computer fraud and hacking, as well as intelligence and linguistics skills for counter terrorism, are in high demand at the Bureau," Matt stated.

A student raised his hand and Dave nodded at him. "Where did you attend college and what degrees do each of you hold?" Dave gestured at Matt.

"I'm a graduate of the Naval Academy with degrees in History and Linguistics and I have an MBA in Psychology from Georgetown." He nodded at Dave.

"I'm a graduate of Long Island University on the GI Bill with a degree in Criminal Justice and I hold an MBA in Sociology from Georgetown."

"Excuse me Agent? How many languages do you speak?"

"Besides English, I speak and read eleven languages fluently."

"Which ones?"

"Gaelic, compliments of my Irish grandparents, Spanish, French, Italian, Latin, Greek, Hebrew, German, Russian, Farsi Arabic and Japanese. At the present time, I'm working on my Mandarin Chinese."

"However," Dave said getting things back on point, "you don't have to know that many. However those with Spanish, Russian and Arabic skills are in high demand."

"Russian? Are we starting the Cold War again?" a student asked. Dave and Matt looked at each other. There was always one smartass in the group.

"Not at all," Dave intoned. "But there's a not so little thing out there known as the Russian mob and they are responsible for most of the money laundering currently happening in this country."

A young woman raised her hand. "I'm working towards an Accounting degree and I'm very interested in joining the FBI. But I'm not comfortable about carrying a gun."

"Let us start at the beginning, and we'll get to that," Matt said. He and Dave described the process of getting into the FBI.

"Not all agents in the Bureau carry weapons. Case in point," Dave said gesturing to Garcia sitting in the back row, "This is Agent Penelope Garcia, our technical analyst for the BAU. She is our wizard extraordinaire that supports the team with her computer skills. And I can assure you, she doesn't carry a weapon." Dave smiled and winked at her.

"Except for her biting sense of humor," Matt added with a large smile. The students turned around to see the multi-colored dress and hair of Garcia, who gave them a small wave. JJ smiled at her. Dave introduced the rest of the team and touched on their background, ending with Strauss.

"You're not the only ones that get graded," Matt smiled at the students and then Strauss. She smiled back. The group of students laughed, now totally relaxed with the tandem in front of them.

"Agent, if I may?" Matt nodded at the student. "I thought graduates of the Naval Academy were military career people?"

"Not all; circumstances can change with a military career, and not always the way you want. A little thing called orders. I was recruited into the FBI by a former advisor of mine at the Academy who had joined the Bureau as a counter terrorism expert after losing a leg to a drunk driver. He knew me too well. I'm more comfortable chasing bad guys than sending young men and women into combat situations so _they_ can chase the bad guys. Agent Rossi," Matt said, handing the conversation off to Dave.

"I got into the Bureau the old fashion way. I went through process that Matt and I just described."

"I'm surprised the Marines let you go being a Medal of Honor recipient," a student noted looking at Matt.

"Technically, they didn't. I'm still a commissioned Colonel in the Marines. However, Uncle Sam in his infinite wisdom thinks my current job is more important, so I'm IR: Inactive Reserve."

"So a military background helps?" another student asked.

"It doesn't hurt," Matt answered. "But it is not a requirement."

He and Dave continued talking for fifteen minutes about the different opportunities within the Bureau. "The bottom line," Matt said, looking them all in the eye. "As an Agent, whether carrying a weapon or not, you are serving your country. Let me add as a husband and father; while as a federal employee, yes, you are dealing with that huge system. However, I will tell you that federal employees have one of the best benefit programs in the country, especially retirement. That may not be on your radar now given your ages but I will give you this advice: please take that into consideration. And if you have plans of getting married, or having a domestic partner, especially with children, that is huge."

A student on Dave's side of the room raised her hand, which Dave acknowledged. "Agent Rossi, why did you start the BAU?"

Dave looked at her. "I promise I will get to that. However, are there any more questions about joining the Bureau that Matt and I can answer?" They answered a few more. Dave walked over to the table in the middle of the lecture area and sat down, propping his left leg up on it.

Matt looked at him with twinkle in his eye. "So yes, Agent Rossi, tells us about starting the BAU." Rossi shot him a glare, knowing that Matt was playing with his ego.

Reid whispered to JJ sitting next to him, "I think this is where it's going to get interesting." JJ just nodded her head and smiled.

Dave described how he, Max Ryan and Jason Gideon started the BAU and gave a brief history of the unit.

"Agent Taylor, how did you get in the unit?"

"A position opened up. I applied and interviewed for it. I got selected for the job."

"So now you're giving them the Irish BS?" Dave questioned, giving himself the chance to return Matt's needle job on his own ego. "The position that Matt got selected for was Assistant Unit Chief."

"Which required my tactical skills," Matt retorted.

"And he became an excellent profiler like the rest of team."

Matt smiled. "I had help." He looked around the room and seen the questions. "When entering the BAU, you learn the art and skill of profiling by being mentored by a senior member of the team. SAC Hotchner," Matt said, nodding at Hotch, "was mentored by Dave. I was mentored first by SAC Hotchner, and then Dave when he rejoined the unit."

"Why did you rejoin after being retired and enjoying a successful career as a writer," one of the students asked.

"The team was a person down and I knew I could help."

Matt cocked an eye at Dave. "Now who's shipping?"

Dave shook his head at Matt. "An old unsolved case was haunting me. The opening gave me the opportunity to get back in the game and hopefully resolve that one."

"Which he did," Matt smiled.

A student on Matt's side of the room shot his hand in the air. "How do you handle dealing with those types of cases?"

Matt pointed at Dave. "That's yours big dog. Go get it." Matt gestured to the students like sending Mudgie out for a duck and softly whistled.

"Do I look like Mudg?"

"No," Matt said, and then looked at the students. "Mudg is Dave's four legged duck hunting partner." Turning back to Dave, he added, "Mudg has less grey hair around here," Matt said, rubbing the chin of his own goatee. The students roared.

"Very honestly," Dave said, "we all deal with the nightmares. On one level or another, we each have the ones that wake us in the middle of the night. With this job, that is a given. Let me add that having this…," Dave said pointing at Matt, "this Irish idiot helps. Having dealt with the horrors of combat, he can separate it out a bit better than the rest of us."

"And that's where a macabre sense of humor comes in," Matt said. "We have to analyze these very graphic crimes. That is what we get paid to do. But down time means we need to walk away. You get a couple of us in the BAU break room and it's _Comedy Central_. You have to find a release."

"I've read that the divorce rate is higher in the BAU than any other FBI unit. Is it because of the cases you deal with, plus the traveling?"

"That's true in most cases," Matt said, eyeing Dave. "In others, it's not." Matt devilishly eyed Rossi, who met his look. "In other instances," Matt said, while crossing his arms like Hotch, "other circumstances play into action." What Dave couldn't see that Matt, with his arms crossed was flashing three fingers with his right hand hidden behind his left elbow. "And believe me; it had nothing to do with cases." The students that could see snickered.

Dave went on the offensive. "I saw you eyeing up that red head walking in."

"That's right. And when I'm walking past the showroom window at the local car dealership and see something that catches my eye, I'll stop and look. But unlike you, I don't take it for test drive. I'm very happy and content with the model I have at home." As the students roared, Dave gave Matt a menacing look and then, looking at the students, softened.

"We all do this job, whether in the BAU or just as agents for one reason only: to catch the bad people and bring them to justice. Ours is not the only tight knit group that jokes around to handle the pressure of that job. You will find that throughout the Bureau."

"And the camaraderie that is shared is because we all believe in that final goal: justice for those committing the crime. And closure for the victims," Matt added.

"If you would like to learn more about the career opportunities with the FBI, we encourage you to go to the Bureau website that we have on the board," Dave concluded, gesturing to the website Matt had written on the chalk board before they started. They noticed several students entering the website into their cell phones.

As the Director of Admissions offered his thanks to the Dave and Matt for "the very entertaining presentation", Emily looked around the room and whispered the comment, "And those two got that done is less than an hour. Damn, they are good."

As the students filtered out, Dave and Matt shook hands with Dr. Moreland, accepted his thanks and then made their way up to the team. As they approached, they both looked at Strauss. She shook her head. "Not the most orthodox approach I've heard," and then added smiling, "but quite effective."

"It works Erin," Dave simply said.

Matt couldn't resist the opening. "Hey Hotch; the next time big dog and I go out, why don't you join us. We can be the Three Stooges."

Hotch, with Matt's personality slowly rubbing off on him said, "Sounds like a plan to me."

Erin Strauss sadly shook her head and turned to leave. As she left the room, the team looked at each other and shared a laugh; the laugh of the camaraderie of a team that gets the job done.

###


End file.
